Paris Hilton’s autobiography Paris: The Memoir has just been released. Through her book, the former It girl of the 00s talks openly about the dark moments of her life, as well as the infamous love tape, which – as she claims – destroyed her family.

Among other things, the famous billionaire claims that people who know her know that she never had a hand in the release of her sex tape. “Lighting could be better,” he writes. “I would have the right hair, make-up and wardrobe. The camera angles and editing would have been more flattering.”

“I was afraid of sex”

She then confesses that despite being famous as a sex symbol, due to her horrific stay at a boarding school for troubled teenagers, she was “scared of sex” and “hated” the idea of ​​it.

In addition, she writes that she craved intimacy, loved kissing, but “freaked out” if it led to sex, which sometimes led to her being labeled “cold” or accused of “faking it.”

In her book, she confesses that various friends were talking about orgasms and “I was thinking, ‘That doesn’t even exist.’ I thought it was something that happens in the movies.”

The infamous sex tape

Clips of her sex tape surfaced while she was in Australia promoting the reality show she starred in with her then-good friend Nicole Richie, The Simple Life.

Within hours, word of the tape was all over the place, along with rumors that a full-length porn film would follow. Paris says the release of the tape was devastating, causing her family immense distress.

In the book, she says she was just 19 at the time and 33-year-old Rick put a lot of pressure on her to film the video, allegedly promising her that “no one would ever see it”.

Despite being uncomfortable with the idea, she eventually relented, claiming that she used alcohol and barbiturates to feel more relaxed. “I had to drink and it helped me, I did. I had to show that I can, that I own it. I knew what he wanted and I followed through,” he writes.

“He told me if I didn’t do it, he could easily find someone who would and that was the worst thing I could think of. Let this man dump me because I was a stupid kid who didn’t know how to ‘play games’ for adults,” he adds.

A year later, after the sex tape was already leaked, Rick ended up distributing the material himself and making a huge profit. “He said he had every right to sell something that belonged to him, something that had a lot of financial value. More value than my privacy, apparently. My dignity. My future. Shame, loss and intense terror overwhelmed me,” says Paris Hilton.

The difficult teenage years

The 42-year-old billionaire also talks in detail about her time at Utah’s Provo Canyon School – a controversial boarding school and “youth treatment center” for teenagers.

She claims she was physically, sexually and psychologically abused there, and she testified about it before the Utah Senate in 2021, which led to reform of adolescent institutional care.

According to PageSix, her stay at the boarding school is still a sensitive issue in the Hilton family. “The decision to send me away is a difficult issue for my parents,” he admits.

“All of us are living with the brutal legacy of this event as best we know how and have expressed our sorrow, in our own way. For a long time, I just wanted to hear them say, ‘I’m sorry we made a terrible mistake.’ But they haven’t gotten there yet. They may never arrive. And that’s okay.”

In a recent interview with Glamor , Hilton also revealed that at the age of 15, while drunk, she was raped by a man she met at a mall in Los Angeles. “I have visions of him above me, covering my mouth and whispering in my ear that I’m dreaming.”

Paris Hilton finally found her happy ending with venture capitalist Carter Reum, 42, whom she married in 2021. The couple announced the birth, via surrogate, of their first child, a son named Phoenix, in social media in January.